Complete and utter Meltdown Ramble
Ok, my inlaws are in town, staying with me. Lovely people, really..but I just can’t dig the questions..and the talking and..I REALLY don’t want to explain my faith to them. They are soft line atheists. Like Atheist..but not Anti-theist..so The Skepticism Runs Strong In Those Ones.
They are clearly uncomfortable with my altar. MIL asked me about it, I explained, then, she went and asked Frank about it. Like umm..ok…he doesn’t know much about it and he leaves me to it.
ANYWAY as ya’ll know, I’ve been getting POKED AND POKED AND POKED to make my rune set. I need to do a ritual for the carving…Well, I’m waiting for my inlaws to go to bed because I can’t handle their crap in my ritual space. The QUESTIONS and the SKEPTICISM and the NEGATIVE ENERGY..I don’t need that while runecrafting.
This is my ramble. I’m still not comfortable performing prayers and rituals out loud even alone. I need to get more comfortable in my spiritual skin, I know that. I don’t like explaining my stuff to my kids either. I believe, but, I know others don’t, others who are VERY able to call CPS on my ass if they think I’m doing some nasty shit. Kids talk, I live in the Bible Belt of Canada. I dunno, Canadian Charter of Human Rights and Freedoms says I can raise my kids in any religion I choose if it isn’t abusive.
PRETTY MUCH, I’m alone here. I have no real life support in this. It’s scary being the only one.
How do you do it? Like if you’re the only one around where you live? I appreciate the internet friends I have made. I’m just so scared of doing it wrong. Totally fucking up. I’m NOT a teacher (“yet” says Odin..yeah thanks)
I’m a fish out of water here. I FEEL that this is right for me. I need to get over my damn self consciousness and say “Fuck ya’ll this is what I believe and if you don’t like it, get stuffed” it takes alot to get to that point though. I’m getting shoved that way though. *sigh*
I need to do more meditation on this….*sigh* Also Shark Week Loometh and my emotional energy is like WEEEEEE so I might just be totally overreacting lol