The Talk, redux

So, I had to have the “you don’t go and touch another kids junk” talk with my son, again. Another kid on his bus asked him to do a wet check, still inappropriate.

Anyway, after my brain went automatically to the worst case scenario ™ because that’s what I do best, and got calmed down by Loki, I sat the kid down for the talk about junk touching.

Step 1: are all parties involved old enough? (I used the term grown up but I’m of the mind late teens onward is cool)

If the answer to step 1 is no, halt all attempts at touching the junk

Step 2: assuming everyone involved is old enough, is everyone ok with the whole junk touching thing? that is like super important right there. f not all attempts at junk touching must stop immediately

Step 3: Are you and partner(s) in a rather discreet place? Not everyone wants to witness it, so it’s nice to be polite, that and public junk touching is against the law.

I kept it gender/sexuality neutral because I have no idea who my kids are gonna grow up loving, and seriously I don’t care, as long as everyone follows the three simple steps of sexual consent. I will cover protection at a later date, don’t worry.


About Monica Baker

Stay at home mom trying to get back into the workforce and blogging about it. Nothing super exciting really. But if you insist on reading go right ahead. If anything feel free to leave tips!

Posted on September 16, 2013, in General Crap and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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