Life as a parent. I guess.
As you all know, I have two kids. A daughter who’s ten years old, and a little boy, who just turned 7. See, I try not to do the “Mommy Blog” thing too much because there are so many mommy blogs out there, I didn’t want to get lost in the fold of diapers, spit up and drool. So I opted not to do one.
But sometimes, there is an incident in every parent’s life, that one needs to share with the world because it’s incredibly, incredibly hillarious. This is one such incident.
This morning, I was sitting down on the couch with my coffee and iPad to check my facebook and veg out while I caffinate. Today is a snow day for my kids, no school due to the twelve inch dump we received yesterday, so they were home. My daughter came upstairs from the play room, to unload the dishwasher, because it was one of her regular chores. She finished and went downstairs, and promptly came back upstairs to announce in the tell tale sing song voice of all kids everywhere when tattling on their sibling…
“Mooom, Max is stuck in the garbage can.”
I looked up from the iPad and asked her “Did you try to get him out?”
She nodded vigorously. “Yes, I tried, he’s stuck in there really good.”
I sighed and rose from the couch, bringing my ipad with me because this would warrant a picture or something for all of posterity. I slowly made my way down stairs, turn the corner into the play room and I see this:
My son, firmly wedged in a small black plastic wastebasket. I set my iPad down after taking the picture, and gave a few test tugs. He was wedged in there really well. His feet were flat against the black plastic, he was kneeling on the empty space below. Wedged half in, half out of the wastebasket.
I sighed, and looked at him, in an attempt not to laugh. I shot an email off to his father, telling him of my predicament with his son. His dad emailed back.
“Lay on the floor and hook your arms under his armpits and use your legs to push the can off”
I tried, and it didn’t work. I put the picture up on facebook, and got the “Lotion” and “Soap” suggestion. I attempted both and neither worked.
I was out of options. I sent a picture to Loki’sBruid and asked her what I should do. I opted to use KY Jelly. Yup. I applied the slippery water based goo to the soles of my sons soft feet. As I did that he started to giggle
“Mommy that feels good”
I lost it. I just busted a gut laughing right there. As I got myself back together, I wiped my hands off, grabbed him under the armpits one last time, because if this failed we would have to call the fire department, and gave a mighty heave.
Out popped my son from his black, plastic prison. I made him sit down while I wiped the KY Jelly off of his feet so he wouldn’t slide around and crack his head open on our laminate flooring as he madly dashed about the house. (He has two speeds, sleep and run)
Frank came home, early, because he told his superior that he was needed at home for a family emergency. Max greeted him at the door and said “DADDY! I was stuck in a garbage can!”
Frank’s only response was a shake of his head, and the immortal words of Red Foreman. “Dumbass” as he removed his military boots so he could go make himself some lunch.
That ends this part of the saga of Max the Mischief Maker