Category Archives: General Crap

How Doctors Take Women’s Pain Less Seriously

It’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog, but I’ve been reading this story  http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/emergency-room-wait-times-sexism/410515/   and couldn’t help but feel for this woman.

I am a chronic pain sufferer.  I suffer from chronic back pain.  I went to my doctor to get an answer.  I got nothing except “Be more active, lose weight (Note: I’m not obese even if I were that is treating the fat not the patient) go to a chiropractor, go get a massage”  I’m stuck taking woefully inadequate over the counter anti-inflammatory medication to just get through the day.

There are some days I literally can’t get out of bed.  There are some days where I can hardly walk and I’m crying just to be able to get up to tend to my children.

I’m not taken seriously.  All I want is a prescription to help me with my chronic pain so I CAN get up and move like I’m told to.  There is no pushing through this pain.

Women in pain aren’t taken seriously.  I’m tired of it.  I’m tired of suffering.  What can I do? Any time a woman presents with some kind of illness the medical profession brushes her off.

I also don’t want to be treated like a pill seeker, a person who is addicted to narcotic pain pills. I don’t WANT or NEED narcotics, I NEED an anti-inflammatory that is stronger than Aleve, with MAYBE a muscle relaxant component tossed in for good measure.

I’m only 36.  I have a long life ahead of me and if I’m going to spend it in chronic pain, then what’s the use.  (Don’t worry I’m NOT going to end it.)  I WANT to fix this, I WANT to enjoy life again.  When I have my good days they are *very* good, but when I have bad ones they are HORRID.

I know I have many friends out there (Who either identify as cis female or are FTM trans) who are chronic pain/illness sufferers who can totally commiserate.   I just wanted to bring attention to this article.

Also this one:  http://abcnews.go.com/Health/PainNews/women-chronic-pain/story?id=15598143

and This one:  http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/opinion/sunday/women-and-the-treatment-of-pain.html?_r=0

This is a real problem.  We shouldn’t be silent anymore.  Our pain is valid.  We deserve to live a pain free, or at least a tolerable level of pain, life.

Why we need feminism

trigger warnings, sexual assault talk, bullying talk and other things that may trigger a person. This is also the rumination of a mother who has personally faced most of the topics in this blog post.

I am the mother of an eleven year old daughter. I am also the mother of a seven year old son. I fear more for her starting a new school, than I do him. That is why we need feminism.

Why? You may ask. Well let’s start off with the simple premise that middle school is hell for the average child. My daughter has Asperger’s syndrome. Kids with autism are bullied far more frequently than their neurotypical peers. She has this innocence about her that her peers are half decent people with the maturity to ignore her if they don’t care for her. The school she attends now, helps foster that kind of environment.

You are probably wondering why bullying links to feminism. Well, considering my daughter, regardless of her neurobiological status, is more at risk being bullied than my son in the chance we have to move (we are military, it is always a possibility) by virtue of her gender, it goes hand in hand.

Girls will bully her because she will be viewed as “competiton” for the boys in the school. She will be new and different. Causing the competition enoug distress that they remove themselves from the gene pool gives these mean girls an advantage genetically. They live to pass their genes on, while the unfortunate target of their unrelenting psychological abuse has taken their own life. This is my armchair anthropology talking by the way, as well as personal experience as a person who went through merciless bullying as a teenager. The girls were always the worst. They got even meaner when I miraculously managed to get a boyfriend. Notice how slut shaming usually starts with girls ripping apart other girls? These girls have been taught that they are valueless without a man, and all other girls are competition for the high status male they desire to get somewhere in life. How messed up is that? That a woman’s status is only as good as that of the man she winds up with. Feminism is needed to change that line of thinking. I’m working on it with my daughter right now actually. With that line of thinking comes another threat to my daughter, the guys.

My daughter wants to get into programming. Robotics, computer programming, those kinds of fields. Those are traditionally male dominated fields. In high school, she will need to bust her ass, despite all the other obstacles thrown at her, to keep her grades high enough for a university to even look at her. (In Canada university admission is a highly competitive and costly thing so scholarships are a must.) This means some of the male peers will feel threatened by her. The fact she will be taking their opportunities away by virtue of her sex, will enrage them. So the bullying will come from them in an attempt to break her down and make her give up. Eventually the males will figure out the power of their penis, as always and the threat of rape will be omnipresent for her, as all other women out there from there on out.

If she manages to get through the gauntlet of high school and university with her head held high and a proverbial rod of iron in her spine, she will then have to fight for a job, and to keep it. As a woman, she will make 77c for each dollar her male colleagues make. She will have to work twice as hard to be respected in her workplace. She will have men trying to take credit for her work, and will need to be “the bitch” in order to keep it from happening. Heh. Bitch, another word to describe a woman who claims her equality next to men. Funny eh? Let’s go out on a limb, and pretend my daughter chooses to reproduce one day. In Canada, we are guaranteed one year paid maternity leave at %60 of our salary. Cool beans, eh? Not so fast. Just because an employer can’t legally terminate a person for their choice to procreate, doesn’t mean it doesn’t occur for other reasons.

If my daughter chooses to procreate, when she comes back, there is a big chance that her employer will make it insanely difficult on her to perform her job, and balance family obligations as well. Men rarely have to deal with that. Eventually her job performance will suffer, and the employer will hand her her pink slip, record of employment and final cheque and tell her they are sorry to see her go, and it was unfortunate she was unable to balance life properly, with vague hints that it will be for the best that she be home with her own children. Game over. In a field such as programming, one needs to keep ones skills current and sharp, usually by working, and potential employers see huge gaps in resumes as a very negative thing.

So, what sparked this? Well, being military moving is always on the horizon. We have been in this area for five years now, give or take. Her current school has helped her so much, academically and socially with her aspergers. She has grown from a young child who would have two to three hour meltdowns per day, refuse to eat, and unable to communicate what was going on in her head, to a well rounded independent young lady. My heart would be crushed if that got reversed in any way. A move now would be a very rough go with months of recovery, as well as the bully gauntlet of a new school. Right now, she’s thriving. That’s all I want for her.

After reading all that, you are probably thinking, wtf does this have to do with feminism? Well, as I stated earlier, I have a son. Yes, I know boys are bullied as much as girls, but not for the same underlying reasons. Sure he might be bullied for being smaller than his peers, even if all that happens, he is still a white male and has all the societal privilege as afforded a white cis male. Because of this inherent privilege, I fear less for his outcome than I do my daughter’s in this society. THAT is why we need feminism.

Bullying absolutely crushed me. I had hopes and dreams, but they were put aside so I could just survive my day to day life. The bullying began for me when I moved schools when I started grade nine and never let up until I graduated. I did all I could to stay off the radar. That included keeping my grades low so the teachers wouldn’t call on me for anything. I moved from a safe school to an unsafe one. I foresee the same damn thing happening to my daughter.

This kind of shit pisses me off:  Thousands of Women in India accused of Witchcraft

Excuse me for a minute

Alright, I’m done.  Sort of.  See, this kind of shit…this is.  Ugh I have no fucking words.  I need more caffeine or something. Wait no, I don’t.  Women in India already have a hard time as it is with all the rapes and the Eve Teasing and sexual violence, arranged marriages, chattel bullshit…now this?  FUCK just FUCK THEM.

When will the Indian people pull their heads out of their collective asses?  Really?  I’m not Hindu, but I do believe Those Gods/Goddesses do exist even though I do not personally worship Them and I hope Kali-Ma unleashes holy hell on all those bastards who think this is okay.

I hope Shiva in His infinite wisdom, just looks over at a pretty flower and ignores what She’s doing.

I really hope someone more eloquent in their anger can post something more, because right now I just want to go punch a wall or something.  This is just horrific.

So yeah, Witch Hunting is alive and well in parts of the globe.  In parts of Africa, there are the Witch Children.  (Correction:  According to my friend who lives in South Africa, there are witch hunts there as well, his words:  “Happens all the damn time. Some girl gets accused of black.magic and she gets lynched, or necklaced. As in a tyre full of petrol. Um that’s set on fire”)  (Note:  not all of Africa, because I know damn well Africa isn’t a country, but a rather huge continent filled with different countries, cultures and peoples) young kids, attacked, abused, burned and ostracized because some crazy ass missionary preacher says they’re witches.  This is mostly in Nigeria and Northern African areas, but there are isolated incidents in the equatorial regions and Sub-Saharan as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbGzFN_Nal  I  There’s the first video of 5, feel free to watch the rest by following the links in the video.

Seriously, how the FUCK is that acceptable?  I’m Pagan.  I live in a country that guarantees my human rights and freedoms regardless of religion, sexuality, gender, or creed.  I’m LUCKY I live in Canada.  This sort of oppression and superstitious bullshit is all over the world.  Yes, even down in the USA.

Here is one Pagan’s story of being outed in the “Bible Belt”  One story out of probably many out there.

So before I get accused of being anti-Christian, let me tell you this.  After the Roman Empire, when have pagans burned Christians alive?  When have Pagans outright drowned Christians to see if they were secretly Pagan?  When have we persecuted, and destroyed people of other faiths just because they didn’t think the same as us?  Please someone tell me because I can’t find a damn incident of it in the history books.  I don’t think Christ would approve of any of this bullshit to be honest, and I bet He facepalms and is like “Bro, I’m SO not with those people…” ever since religion in His name was started up.

The Old Ways are still valid.  The Gods of yore, before the Abrahamic religions swept up the world by storm, are still alive, we keep them alive.   Old Gods of Africa, the Middle East, Egypt, Europe, North America…They all live despite Christianity’s attempt to slaughter them along with their followers.

 

 

Getting worn down

Life as an independent author is a pain in the ass.  Seriously.  Sure, you don’t have editors breathing down your throats regarding deadlines, you don’t have to deal with sketchy houses not paying you your royalties, but there’s just something missing.  Oh yeah, actual royalties and the time to get to work on a new book.

See, as an Indie, I need to keep my ass glued to Twitter and Facebook, and yes, this blog, to promote my book so it can sell.  I don’t have the huge marketing arm that a publishing house has.

So I’ve spent the past few days pitching.  Pitched to a few small-ish publishing houses with decent track records, *Piers Anthony has a great up to date list on houses, along with reviews of some of them:  http://hipiers.com/publishing.html * and today I pitched to an agent.  I’m not a salesperson.  I’m an author.  I’m not great at blowing sunshine up peoples asses to get them to buy something.  I want my work to speak for itself.  Unfortunately that isn’t how the writing world works if you want your book to get out there.  So, I’m trying to get it into the hands of people with that skill.  The waiting game is a bitch.

*sigh*  I just want to get to work on my second book.  Is that too much to ask?  But no, I need to keep promoting.

I think I’ll use https://bufferapp.com/ to automate my tweets and get back to @ replies when I can.   Figure if I sprinkle some funny/witty non-promo tweets with some actual promo tweets, people won’t get fed up.  I dunno.

The Violent Side of Fat Shaming & Denying Body Acceptance

This is the heartbreaking story of a woman who was so fat shamed throughout her entire life, that she went through gastric bypass surgery, almost losing her life to complications.  This is sad.

Protip:  FAT PEOPLE HAVE FEELINGS TOO.

 

The Violent Side of Fat Shaming & Denying Body Acceptance.

Firefighters Don’t Wear Dresses: When Will Halloween Costumes For Girls Reflect Reality?

Firefighters Don’t Wear Dresses: When Will Halloween Costumes For Girls Reflect Reality?.

 

As a mother to both a boy and a girl, I LOVE THIS POST, *hugs it*

Charity Donation Thingie

Extra Life | Play Games. Heal Kids. – DonorDrive®.

 

That is my donor link.  On November 2nd I’m gonna be playing Mech Warrior Online for 24hrs straight to benefit my local Children’s Miracle Network Hospital, the IWK Health foundation.

Please help support me in this worthy cause by clicking the link and tossing a donation my way.

 

ALL money donated through that link goes directly to the IWK Hospital in Halifax Nova Scotia.  I think this hospital also serves Maine, as well.

Anyway, here.

Holy shitballs, this really works!

Ok, I’m usually not one to fall for those “As Seen On TV” Products, you know the ones, the whole “THIS IS AMAZEBALLS AND OWNS THE PLANET” type commercials.  Like, Shticky, or those commercials that are like “Call within the next ten minutes and we’ll DOUBLE YOUR ORDER” , those kinds

 

Well, There’s one actual product out there, that you see on TV, and it really does work as advertised.

 

https://www.notanglebrush.com/

 

That.  I’m not shitting you.  I saw one at Walmart and I’m like “Meh, if it doesn’t work I’ll just give it to my daughter.” So I picked it up.

It’s the greeny/yellow one for “Normal Hair.

First off, I’ll let you in on a secret.  My hair is waist length.  I have not had any form of hair cut for like, years, seriously, seven I’m thinking.  So it’s LOOOONG.  It’s also straight.  I also use henna to color it.

 

So today, I decided it would be a great day to henna my hair, because I was busy doing housework in preparation for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow (I live in Canada) and wasn’t planning on leaving the house at all.

Usually after I henna my hair and wash it out, it is one great big matt that takes forever to work through.

Not with this brush.  I mean seriously, It took all of two minutes to detangle my hair with it.  No ripping or shredding.  Sure there were a bit of difficult bits near the ends, (I do brush from the ends up no worries) and even then, no real ouch or ripping of my hair out of my head, or breaking it.  NO SNAPPIES.

So yeah,  That product, actually does work.  It really is amazeballs.

Santa’s elves are Chinese.

Chinese Factory Workers & the Toys They Make – Imgur.

The Talk, redux

So, I had to have the “you don’t go and touch another kids junk” talk with my son, again. Another kid on his bus asked him to do a wet check, still inappropriate.

Anyway, after my brain went automatically to the worst case scenario ™ because that’s what I do best, and got calmed down by Loki, I sat the kid down for the talk about junk touching.

Step 1: are all parties involved old enough? (I used the term grown up but I’m of the mind late teens onward is cool)

If the answer to step 1 is no, halt all attempts at touching the junk

Step 2: assuming everyone involved is old enough, is everyone ok with the whole junk touching thing? that is like super important right there. f not all attempts at junk touching must stop immediately

Step 3: Are you and partner(s) in a rather discreet place? Not everyone wants to witness it, so it’s nice to be polite, that and public junk touching is against the law.

I kept it gender/sexuality neutral because I have no idea who my kids are gonna grow up loving, and seriously I don’t care, as long as everyone follows the three simple steps of sexual consent. I will cover protection at a later date, don’t worry.