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The Talk, redux

So, I had to have the “you don’t go and touch another kids junk” talk with my son, again. Another kid on his bus asked him to do a wet check, still inappropriate.

Anyway, after my brain went automatically to the worst case scenario ™ because that’s what I do best, and got calmed down by Loki, I sat the kid down for the talk about junk touching.

Step 1: are all parties involved old enough? (I used the term grown up but I’m of the mind late teens onward is cool)

If the answer to step 1 is no, halt all attempts at touching the junk

Step 2: assuming everyone involved is old enough, is everyone ok with the whole junk touching thing? that is like super important right there. f not all attempts at junk touching must stop immediately

Step 3: Are you and partner(s) in a rather discreet place? Not everyone wants to witness it, so it’s nice to be polite, that and public junk touching is against the law.

I kept it gender/sexuality neutral because I have no idea who my kids are gonna grow up loving, and seriously I don’t care, as long as everyone follows the three simple steps of sexual consent. I will cover protection at a later date, don’t worry.