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Another beg, I know I have a few followers

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1522012998018975/permalink/1597735367113404/

Please click that link and “Like” the picture if you haven’t already?  I know almost everyone and their dog has a facebook page so please please pretty please like that picture.  I would REALLY like that as a tattoo and well it’s a give away so the one with the most likes wins.  So puuuhhleleeeeaaze like the picture.  I beg you I implore you my wonderful followers.

Ramblings. I made a comment in a group, thought I’d share

Odin has never been nasty to me. Lessons, and some of those lessons have been cruel, but never ever outright malicious for the sake of being malicious, same with Loki. I love Them with all my heart. Odin never wanted my fear. He never wanted my terror. He wanted my love. He got it. I don’t get the grandfather Odin….He manifests to me as Snake from Escape from New York, but with more grey in his hair…

Personal relationships with the Gods are just that. Personal. MY Odin isn’t the same as YOUR Odin. MY Loki isn’t the same as YOUR Loki. The Gods present themselves to us in the way they think WE need to see Them for our benefit. Sure there are common traits when UPG/Doxis align with everyone else and it’s like “WOAH coolies” But yeah…

I’m not what you would call a reconstructionist. The Lore has a place, but, the times are NOW, modern. We have the internet, we have cars, and trains and airplanes…We have plastics, and super light metals. The Traditions of Old are good and all, but bringing the Gods into the modern world will be a good thing. Hence why the Marvel Cinematic Universe isn’t exactly a NEGATIVE thing. It has it’s place. It’s bringing at least the names back onto the people’s lips and into their hearts, where they can take root, and grow, spark the imaginations and grow their strength.

This is a blog from one of the ladies I hold in high esteem:http://lokisbruid.wordpress.com/…/embracing-marvel…/ It’s pretty well written and explains what I’m trying to explain.

Of course, my walk with the Gods is a very intimate one, much different than many of you.  Your walk is different than mine. Neither are wrong, just different. Different is not wrong.

So this happened last night

Ok, yesterday was the camp for my son’s Beaver scouts.  We couldn’t camp out because of reasons, but we went for the day and had a pretty good time.  That was until we had to leave of course.

Here is a high quality artistic rendition of what happened.

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As you can see, I got into a fender bender with Dude car.  My car has like his paint on it, and MAYBE a scratch.  I cracked his bumper. 😦  I still have my N on my license so I’m all like ERMAHGERD I AM TOAST when my husband finds out.

Well I emailed him and told him what happened, along with this nice artistic rendition of the events.  

I had a day long panic attack because I didn’t know how pissed he was at me, and all the bad scenarios were going through my head, and yes I was about to just give up driving all together.  I couldn’t even bring myself to look at my car today.  

That got solved.  Suddenly, my newly touched up tattoo started getting warm, painful, and ooky. I’m like “Great, probably because I didn’t clean it often yesterday…” and I went to look for the polysporin.  Nope…I’m like “CRAP I must have left it in the car…crap…” So I *had* to go and get the stuff out of the car… Odin 1 My paranoid self: 0  After that wonderful feat, a coupon for a free Blizzard from DQ just showed up on my desk.  Expired tomorrow.  

I sigh heavily and am like “I’m being rewarded with ice cream?”

“Only if you go drive to get it…time’s ticking..”

So after supper I went and got this:

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because I’m a sucker for ice cream…as much as The One who dangled the carrot in front of my face, so to speak.  

See, when I run into something really big and bad, such as FAILURE, or an accident or something, I have a habit of just giving the fuck up.  Going NOPE NOPE NOPE NOT DOING IT FUCK THAT.  I mean I was about to cancel my insurance, cut my license up and just go FUCK THIS.

Like I did when I was 16 and I hit a rock with my mom’s car.  Caused a shitton of damage, was a decent sized rock, jutting out of the ground….I didn’t get behind the wheel again after that, until I was 33 years old. 

The day before my road test, I put the car into the ditch.  Three wheels in the air, (Car was still upright)  had to get a farmer to tow us out with his tractor.  I misjudged the distance off to the right.

My husband still made me take the road test.

Last night, I misjudged my distance to the right, again.  I thought I had enough room, but I didn’t, and I dinged buddy’s car.  

So, when I got home after getting the Blizzard that Loki dangled in front of my nose enticingly, this fell across my Tumblr Dash

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OK OK I GET IT….

Thanks Guys….

Still don’t think I should be on the road but hey, I can only learn from this and get better, I hope.

Shadows of the Past come to Haunt me.

Everyone in the Northern Tradition Blogosphere has been talking about what went down in Kansas.  I figure I would put my two cents in, even though it’s probably not needed, or wanted.

As I read the news about what that old man did.  That bitter, angry, hateful old man.  The old man who couldn’t let old hatred die, the old man who probably had nothing left, except the hate that fueled him through his twilight years. I could have wound up like him.

I used to run with the white supremacy movement. I used to believe all that tripe.  I used to even do the Odinist thing. I shudder to remember the memories I have of that awful time.  The pain I caused other humans, and to my Gods alike.  They turned Their backs on me, justifiably.

There is no excuse for what that man did.  I have no words, to be honest, just anger.  I try to get away from that aspect of my past, and it comes up and thwacks me upside the head in ugly ways.  I’m ANGRY how the white racist movement has appropriated the old ways of Europe.  The Celtic, Norse, Fino-Ugric religions…all have been appropriated by the racists.

Why you might ask?  I’ll give you insight.  It has to do with ancestors.  They want to be closer to the “pure” religion of their “White Ancestors”  (note the sarcasm quotes)  The real extreme ones, even view Christianity as a traitorous religion, and have contempt for the KKK and the World Church of the Creator.   They want to preserve “White Culture”.  They think they are “under attack” from multiculturalism.

Boy are they in for a shock when they learn that Vikings were prolific traders throughout history!  They traded as far as China, probably down into Africa!  They embraced other cultures and traditions!  Vikings weren’t as xenophobic as they think they were.

Sure Odin is a God of battle and glory that is for certain, one of His faces is that of Death.  He is also the God of wisdom, poetry and exploration.  His ways are traveling around the nine realms, to learn from the inhabitants.   My shame is, I bought into the party line.  I betrayed Him and His kin. They forgave me. I guess my deeds and heart changed and They took me back.  I’m never going to violate Their trust in me ever again.  It’s sacred.  It’s deep.  

You’re probably wondering what got me to change.  I got pregnant with my daughter.  That’s pretty much it.  I realized when I was pregnant with her, that there was way more to life than who follows what religion and the amount of melanin in someone’s skin.  I was foolish, stupid and ignorant.  I didn’t want to raise my child in an environment of hate.  I turned my back on the evil and moved forward.  

I’m still very remorseful for how I was.  Stuff like this brings the whole guilt back up to the surface and I spend the day in deep meditation in front of my altars, mostly apologizing profusely to the Gods for my tomfuckery when I was young and stupid.  I don’t know how much self flagellation Odin will put up with from me on this issue, I think He’ll give me the cease and desist eventually, or already has and I’m too dense to see.

This is a rambling blog so yeah deal with it, my blog I can ramble on if I want to,  this whole racist shtick kinda hits hard and I need to get it out to process this because it really does affect me deeply.

It’s because of my past involvement, that I’m pretty leery about getting a valknut tattooed on me, Odin wants me to, I want to.  Thing is,  it’s still recognized as a hate symbol thanks to fucktards like the old coot in the news story.  

I’m glad that as a community, we are no longer remaining silent.  We need to fight this stigma tooth and nail.  I might not be the best person to help with that fight, because of my past, but damnit I’ll stand behind people who are more suited for the task and give as much insight and intel that I can.

It’s a shame that the old man is probably too old and set in his ways to change,  pretty obvious since he took it to a level most white supremists dream of.  

Oh and about the asshats who like to wear Odin’s mark:

All that I know is, Odin can tell the difference between who a real adherent to His ways are and some punk ass fucktard coward wearing a Valknut to be cool. When that fucktard dies, the Valkyries will pass them over and not even Hel will receive them.

They will be cursed to wander in the Twilight, providing never ending practice for the Hunt.

So as a Heathen community, we are holding a fundraiser to help the families of those who have been slain in this heinous act of hate.  We want to hold our hand out to the Jewish community and show that we aren’t hateful bigots. Please, if you can, donate, it will mean a lot to those families.  http://www.youcaring.com/help-a-neighbor/benefit-for-victims-of-the-kansas-city-shootings/165331

A fitting passage from the Havamal if you ask me:

A coward believes he will ever live 
if he keep him safe from strife: 
but old age leaves him not long in peace 
though spears may spare his life.

http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/havamal.html

Free will as it relates to Gebo and Wyrd.

First serious discussion here I guess. Last night, I was taught the true meaning of the Norse Gods concept of Gebo. Gift for Gift, like for like. Now, in the space of the Gods, there is always room for free will. You will always have a choice. Now, sometimes those choices aren’t what you expect.

Take a toddler, (parenting metaphors is what I can work with because that Is my life right now, so deal with it). You need to get the toddler dressed and out for an appointment you just cannot miss. She has tons of clothes, and you give her the choice of the red dress or the blue dress. He refuses both, so you pick for her. Either she will be happy with the choice or miserable.

That was the type of choice I was presented last night. Either way Loki was going to get His Gebo. I could do it the easy way, or the Hard way.

So I DID have free will. I could have told Loki no, and “walked away” but, He would have gotten His due according to custom anyway, and it would not have been nice. I’ll take the path of least resistance and go with Him. It means more Work and some Wyrd stuff in the long run, and it won’t be easy, but it is much easier and less painful than the alternative. Love is a much better master than anger and retribution.

So, when a God wants something from you, you CAN say no, but always ask before giving the answer, what the consequences will be. Sometimes there might not be any, others, like if said God or Goddess has a claim on something, there will more than likely be some kind of fall out.

My New Blog! YAAAY! *muppet arms*

So, I’m gonna follow in the footsteps of my Heatheny friends and get a wordpress blog because that’s what all the cool kids are doing.  I do have a Google Blog but everyone knows about that so I’m gonna go totally hipster and come here.  

 

So, a bit about me.  I’m a 34 year old stay at home mom.  My faith, well that’s what this blog will mostly be about I guess.  My UPG’s and my growth and all that.  So..here’s how I started kinda..

Ok, I was a wee little sprite, as a kid I was brought up Christian by my mom.  My dad was a fallen out Catholic, so he didn’t have much of a role in my spiritual upbringing. I grew, and as I grew the Christian life didn’t sit with me very well.  Especially the anti-woman messages.  So, at around 19 I decided Wicca/Paganism was for me.  I used websearches the best I could to learn how to channel what stuff I might have, basic spells and all that, but it didn’t feel RIGHT.  So I started looking into Polytheism.  Like why would we just toss all those Gods, because of one Jealous God? Right?

Anyway, long story short, I started my Polytheistic way when I moved to a Big City.  I attended WCOC (Wiccan Church of Canada) classes and Moots, learned a whole bunch of stuff, and found fellowship amongst various practices,  it was awesome.

Then I met my ex.  The Gods turned from me at that point, except one.  Yeah, you know The One if you’re here.  He happens to like Hot Messes and Fixer Uppers.  heh.  Loki kept His distance, but eventually He saw that I was gonna self destruct in a not so glorious way so pop went the condom and 9 months later, and various amounts of introspection, and a newborn little girl, I left that lifestyle.

RE-Met my husband (We knew each other since grade 4. Kept in touch through the years but never had anything more serious than a fling when we were 19)  got married, and the whole “ERMAHGERD ABRAHAMIC” stuff got it’s tow hold on me when I started peeking in at a Christian Marriage site to see what I could do to fix the marital difficulties we had.  I got sucked back in.  Of course the whole “YOU MUST BE SUBMISSIVE TO YOUR HUSBAND” and “He’s the head of the household you must bow and grovel and simper to him” crap really started to do my head in.  I started to get more and more unhappy.   Granted, he didn’t help any by being a colossal dick either, and not in a good way.  So, Loki decided to take A Hand in my life once again.

Formenting Change is one of Loki’s specialties.  One of my more attuned friends at the time said I had a Loki on my shoulder, and that’s what got me to go back into learning and researching polytheism, how to honour the Gods and Goddesses, and all that other good stuff.  I feel at peace, well as at peace as one can be with a Loki in your life.  

So, here’s the UPG as to why I finally booked it out of the Abrahamic religions.  

Most of my UPG’s come in the form of visions and whatnot when I’m half asleep because I have yet to reach the ability of snapping into a trance at will. So here goes nothing.

The Abrahamic religions, were created by Men, to give themselves control.  Once Men realized that if they had sex with a woman, the woman had a chance of getting pregnant, they wanted to make bloody sure that offspring was theirs.  So, they started the whole Chastity and Purity crap. All because of..ownership.  Land ownership, livestock ownership, they wanted to make sure their kids were THEIRS so the material goods they worked for in this life were able to be passed down to THEM.  Unfortunately, women being the vessels of life, needed to be controlled and dominated to make sure the babies were theirs, because you know, no Maury Povich back then. So, that started the whole “Women are nothing but Chattel to make sure what is MINE stays MINE even when I die, at least what I worked for will still be MINE”  They created religions around it. Three.  

If you read all the Abrahamic Texts, how much of it deals with ownership of proprety, and geneology? Tells you something doesn’t it?  I just don’t want to associate with anything that views me and my daughter as anything more as a baby making machine to be owned, dominated and cowed into submission because of some guy’s desire to make sure material goods stay HIS for all time.  

Anyway, I’ll probably write more later, I ramble.  I need to shut up and feed my kids now.

Later!