Slow Donation Run – Please Donate

Reblogging to boost the signal. I’m unable to contribute financially right now but I definitely can boost it up.

My Couch Is a Quantum Anomaly



Dude, I have come to the conclusion that my couch houses Loki, or some Thing.  You know, stuff usually falls between the cushions of regular couches and you find it again when you flip them, or move them or whatever right?  NOT THIS ONE

a really shitty picture of a part of the couch in question.  It was the scene of the crime.
This is a movie theater sectional, you can recline, there’ s places to put your drinks, it’s pretty snazzy.  Well, same thing applies, crap falls between the cracks.
One hitch:  IT IS NEVER SEEN AGAIN.  seriously we reach in trying to find it and nope, nada
Two years ago, my BIL was over for Christmas, and we gave him a multi tool for a present.  He put it in his pocket, and it just went missing, gone.  We looked everywhere.  We felt inside the couch to find it and nothing.
Yesterday, when I was looking for a Lego piece Max dropped down there, I felt something…I’m like WTF.  and I pulled out…the fucking multi tool that was lost two years ago.
Frank is going to re-wrap it and give it back to his brother (edit because I’m an only child and I didn’t want any confusion, that’s what I get for posting on only one coffee.) because it’s his after all and it’ll be a funny joke.
But holy shit,  Max would REALLY like that Lego piece back for his Cyborg lego mini figure. :/  it’s unique to the set.

Rant time about the medical profession



Ok, you might know me from various blogs ranting and raving about how the medical profession blatantly ignores women, gaslights them, treats them like dog shit and whatnot, right?

Well here’s another example,  from my very own life.

I have been trying to get my son evaluated for a learning disability for quite some time now,  going on two years already I think.  Anyway, the school told me to talk to my doctor, who told me to call mental health, mental health told me to talk to the school.  This has been going on for two years now.  Seriously.

The school is great, don’t get me wrong.  It’s an awesome school.  They knew my son had difficulties and came up with a list of adaptations that helped him along as he struggled, despite not having an official diagnosis.  I am so grateful to them it isn’t even funny.  The thought of moving away just gives me a bit of a panic because this school is really that good.

Anyway, my husband got tired of the runaround and made an appointment with the social worker to see what the military could do to kickstart things.  Welp…

He came back with a solid referral to get our son evaluated so insurance would cover it.  *One* appointment, five minutes total, and boom referral in hand.

Different systems?  Maybe.  Different doctors, yeah, sort of.  The flight surgeons practice with the province as well doing rotos at the local hospital, so they are part of the public health care system as well.  I’ve seen flight surgeons almost every time I went to the ER.

I just know that my husband wasn’t brushed off.  He was taken seriously right off the bat, whereas, I wasn’t. I was gaslit, I was ignored, I was passed along to be someone elses problem while my son’s education suffered.  *THAT* pisses me off to no end.

So yeah, special needs mammas, don’t give up, don’t give in, don’t let them get to you.  You’re *not* crazy.  Your kid needs help.  Your kid needs supports.  Get them.  Fight for them.  It’s so hard to not internalize it.  I know, I’ve been there before with my daughter, now with my son.  Fight until you win.

Something totally depressing:

I’ve lived in Canada my whole life.  I’m one of those Canadians who happen to be descended from the European Colonists.  The first time I’ve learned *anything* about the people who’ve been living here since before my ancestors showed up was a week long class in social studies when I was in elementary school about the Haida.  What that class covered was a trip to the museum, learning about what they ate pre-colonialism, about their totem poles (but not the symbolism behind them) and their houses.  That’s all I took home from it.

What sparked this?  Well it was Loki’s Bruid’s post about female sovereignty and how it’s been erased throughout history.  I remembered a blurb about the Six Nations Confederacy and how they used to be matriarchal before the colonists came and either wiped them out or forcibly converted them via residential schools and threats.

Do you know where I learned this from?  Assassin’s Creed 3.  Pretty fucking sad huh?  Now before you ask “Well how do you know that’s factual?”  Ubisoft got members of the Iroquois Nation in on their development team for this game.  Iroquois voice actors, the Iroquois language in that game is spoken by real Iroquois.  They consulted with the elders, they got the facts from the Iroquois nation leaders, so props to Ubisoft for that, they helped preserve bits of history from a culture that the colonial government is still trying to erase.

Honestly it’s sad, and I have no idea how to fix it, other than getting First Nations teachers in the classroom and teaching kids from early on.

How Doctors Take Women’s Pain Less Seriously

It’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog, but I’ve been reading this story   and couldn’t help but feel for this woman.

I am a chronic pain sufferer.  I suffer from chronic back pain.  I went to my doctor to get an answer.  I got nothing except “Be more active, lose weight (Note: I’m not obese even if I were that is treating the fat not the patient) go to a chiropractor, go get a massage”  I’m stuck taking woefully inadequate over the counter anti-inflammatory medication to just get through the day.

There are some days I literally can’t get out of bed.  There are some days where I can hardly walk and I’m crying just to be able to get up to tend to my children.

I’m not taken seriously.  All I want is a prescription to help me with my chronic pain so I CAN get up and move like I’m told to.  There is no pushing through this pain.

Women in pain aren’t taken seriously.  I’m tired of it.  I’m tired of suffering.  What can I do? Any time a woman presents with some kind of illness the medical profession brushes her off.

I also don’t want to be treated like a pill seeker, a person who is addicted to narcotic pain pills. I don’t WANT or NEED narcotics, I NEED an anti-inflammatory that is stronger than Aleve, with MAYBE a muscle relaxant component tossed in for good measure.

I’m only 36.  I have a long life ahead of me and if I’m going to spend it in chronic pain, then what’s the use.  (Don’t worry I’m NOT going to end it.)  I WANT to fix this, I WANT to enjoy life again.  When I have my good days they are *very* good, but when I have bad ones they are HORRID.

I know I have many friends out there (Who either identify as cis female or are FTM trans) who are chronic pain/illness sufferers who can totally commiserate.   I just wanted to bring attention to this article.

Also this one:

and This one:

This is a real problem.  We shouldn’t be silent anymore.  Our pain is valid.  We deserve to live a pain free, or at least a tolerable level of pain, life.

“You can literally be murdered for being a feminist”

This is triggery as fuck. But yes you can get literally murdered for being a Feminist.

Anti-Porn Feminists

Grace Mann 01Grace Mann 02Grace Mann 03Grace Mann 04Grace Mann 05

After University of Mary Washington Feminists United Club president Paige McKinsey spoke up at a student senate meeting about the culture of sexual hostility among the university’s fraternities and the university’s unwillingness to do anything about it, the anonymous social media app Yik Yak exploded with insults and threats of physical and sexual violence toward McKinsey and other campus feminists.

After the rugby team was recorded singing a song about raping dead whores, prompting FUC members to report the incident to the school administration, the threats got even worse.

Then, on April 17th, Grace Mann was murdered by her roommate, a former rugby player.

You can literally be murdered for being a feminist.

iacknowledgebuttholesexist, found via Appropriately Inappropriate

The University of Mary Washington’s campus in Fredericksburg, Virginia, was hit by a spate of violent threats against a feminist student group for months leading up to the alleged murder of…

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A Rant about Gamers. An Ode To The Neckbeard

I’m gonna start this off with a disclaimer: I’m a gamer.  I play video games.  I play causally and competitively.  I *enjoy* video games.  I am also a wife of a gamer who plays casually and competitively.  I have children who are gamers.  See the theme? I’m not against video games.

I *am* against assholes who want to shove into the safe gaming spaces set out for children.  I’m looking at you jerks who want to take Splatoon and make it into a competitive kid-UNFRIENDLY arena.  Who want voice chat so you can “coordinate” (my ass) and win at all costs.

Nintendo has decided to ignore these neckbearded manchildren who fail so hard at  adult oriented games that they feel the need to prove their non-existent manhood at beating children at an online video game.  Their excuse for it, “Well children play Call of Duty and Battlefield.”

Hey honey, let me tell you something,  those high voices you hear, cursing you out, calling you names, saying that you suck, those are probably not kids, but women.  You know this.  Deep down in your black Brony soul, you know this is a fact, and you want to protect what’s left of your non-existent manhood that you will say a CHILD beat you in a video game instead of a woman, because it’s THAT HUMILIATING for you to admit that a woman is better than you at a game.

So you decide to go invade the safe space that Nintendo has put out for kids, because it makes you feel better to beat on someone smaller. Well sorry.  Nintendo doesn’t play that, and I’m glad.  I’m GLAD I won’t have some neckbearded fuckboy yelling insults at my children because they aren’t playing to their standards.  I won’t have some crazy ass PedoBrony approaching my daughter in a suggestive manner and verbally abusing her over a game.  My kids will be able to enjoy playing in a safe space.  Parental controls are a thing, I get that, and I use them liberally, the thing is, kids still need a safe space to game away from angry emasculated manchildren who strive to steal the joy from everyone because they don’t have any themselves.

Ya’ll are like Discord from My Little Pony.  Just stop.  Go by Wheaton’s Law and stop being dicks.  Let kids have their spaces.  Thank you.

Thinky Thoughts About Life And Death.

No, not talking about mortality and morbid thoughts about my time on this planet, but the process of bringing in life, and ushering it out.

A friend of mine posted this article up on her facebook timeline.  The gist of it is, “Childbirth is not a spectator sport.”  and I agree.

Any major transition across the veil is a big deal, and needs to be treated as such.  It is a sacred act. It is not for spectating.  Those who are experiencing the transition, either directly or indirectly has full say over who should be in their sacred space with space made and held by the support persons.

That space doesn’t end at the moment of transition. It’s such a big *thing* that care is needed afterwards as well. It’s a big deal bringing a life into this world, helping another soul take the first breath on this side.  Care is needed after such a huge rush of energy into this world in the form of a new mortal life.  Women, at least in the USA don’t get that.

Here, over on ThinkProgress, there is a blurb about how dreadful the USA’s postpartum leave practice is. Some have a year,  Canada does, I’m pretty tickled with that, some upwards to two.  The USA, the woman is *lucky* to get six weeks unpaid leave after she has the baby.  This doesn’t just impact breastfeeding rates, it impacts the whole of that precious time we call “The Babymoon.” Where mom and babe get to know each other, have older women help care for them and teach them the ways of motherhood.  It’s now just pop baby out, and get your butt back to work, leaving the baby in daycare, which incidentally eats up 3/4 of your pay in some places.  

How does this tie in with death? You know since I did mention it in my title, well let me explain:

They are both the transition of a soul across the veil.  One is entering, one is leaving.  Both need an intense amount of care and support, before and after, emotionally, physically and spiritually. The thing is, both birth and death have been so severely medicalized and the honest to goodness *root* of both transitions, shielded from everyone by the blue medical curtain that they instill such a morbid curiosity in people, that borders on voyeurism.  Back in the days before ushering the labouring mother off to the hospital in the middle of the night and back in a few days, back before shuttling granny off to hospice, they were at home, surrounded by loved ones and spiritual leaders.  Before Doctors, midwives were the support person of choice for labouring mothers.  They held the space for the mother to usher in new life, and yes sometimes, the veil wasn’t crossed successfully by either mother or child.  

They *crave* to see the taboo. Childbirth and Death are both viewed as taboo by our society, so both events draw their share of rubberneckers.  That’s why everyone and their dog wants to see the mom give birth, hold the baby, hang out when they aren’t wanted after the birth, and websites like bestgore and theync are so popular (DO NOT GO THERE IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED SERIOUSLY TAKE THIS AS A WARNING THIS IS WHY I DID NOT LINK)  

I gave birth to two children.  The one I remember the most, is the birth of my son, since it was the most recent, and the one I knew what was going on, so I can actually re-document it, and go back in retrospective thought.

It was like, I was going over to the other side of *something* and receiving him over there before pushing him out of my body.  My *brain* was not on this plane of existence.  It was like I was far away.  Gone somewhere dark.  Yes it was dark.  My basement was fully lit, I had my midwives, doula and husband with me.  My son got stuck after his head was birthed and I guess I walked from the pool to the mattress.  I don’t remember any of that.  I do remember the black velvet of the veil though.  Crossing over and taking his little hand, the midwife reached inside and popped him out from my pelvic bone and he slid on out without any kind of issue.

Death, I have not had a chance to bear witness to first hand yet.  But I have a feeling when it’s time for me I hope I have that same space of respect held for me, that I had when I had my son.

Homeworld Remastered Edition Initial Review

Alright, I have started a Homewold Remastered game.  Yesterday I played the tutorial and first couple of missions, and I think I’ll make a regular stream out of it.    I really enjoy the game, it’s beautiful and the story is incredibly engaging.

Like, it was beautiful when it first came out, but now it’s stunning.  They cleaned up the polygons and tuned up the graphics to make it even more spectacular on modern systems.  The soundtrack is just as haunting as it was when it was first released.

You can find my initial run here:

I plan on continuing on the story on my Twitch Channel (clicky the linkie)  Please Follow so you can keep watching the saga of Homeworld.  I will definitely be streaming the Garden’s Of Kadesh when  get to it.  Right now I’m about to start the Return to Kharak mission.  I’ll be playing that on Weds April 15 2015 So please add that to your calandar.  It’s gonna be stunning.

Tonight on my Twitch channel, though is MechWarrior Mondays.  I’m seriously debating on Roleplaying as a pilot on stream, but I’m not sure how well it will go over.  Please comment below if that would be something you’d like to see.

Did You Know I have a Youtube Channel?

Yeah I usually keep that kind of think private but, hey I might as well show off my “Leet’ gaming skills. Heh

Click link, click subscribe please n thank you?  It’s like, about gaming and Mech Warrior and you’ll see Goat Simulator as well.  I’ll put up personal VLOG’s and stuff.  But yeah please please subscribe to it and thumbs up the vids. ❤